In the past, for me, the life as a blogger always meant looking for the next milestone to celebrate or write about. What holiday is coming up? What project will I work on? What designs should I create? What's next? ALL. THE. TIME. It was exhausting.
Originally, I thought it was the blog's fault. I thought I had to keep ahead of the calendar. While people were enjoying Halloween, I was worried about projects for Christmas and New Year's Eve. I had partnered with sponsors in the past that required me to work ahead, but these projects were few and far between. In reality, I was the only one putting this pressure on myself.
Last year, this changed for me. I decided to quit the blog (see here). It felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders...at least for a few months. Something was still off. At the time, I didn't know what.
Then January hit.
January 2019 was a turning point for me. I went through a rough few weeks, which were a product of years of internalized emotions. With the support of family and friends, I finally realized I needed to ask for help. I started going to therapy.
So what was the deal? While there is no "one thing" that could be fixed (I wish!), we determined that something I was lacking was not putting myself first... like, ever. Every decision I made was for someone else's well-being, no matter how it affected my own. This needed to change. I needed to be more conscious of who and what I allowed in my life.
If you have been following on Instagram, you may have noticed the shift: more self care. I un-followed accounts that didn't bring joy. Found more accounts that encouraged beauty of the self and equality. I am still practicing not caring about the algorithm.
I'm not going to lie, this is much harder to do in real life. Still, with a new focus on listening to myself and what I want out of life, I am genuinely excited to keep practicing self care. I spend time with people I love, not people I feel obligated to see. I work on small projects that bring me joy, not ones that I hope will bring traffic to my website. I post whatever the hell I want on Instagram and don't care about the likes!!!! That deserves 1000 exclamation points!
While I missed celebrating the blog's 6th anniversary in February (even though I quit for a few months) and didn't throw confetti for my 38th birthday in June, I really wanted to make sure I reflected on the past year. 2019 has been exhausting for everyone, which is why I cannot and will not stop stressing how important it is for all of us to make ourselves a priority. Not to sound cliché, but you can't pour from an empty cup. Take care of yourself first, so you can take care of the people you love.
Here's to a happier and healthier 2020!
Hi! I'm Amy
I draw, make, and occasionally tell a story.