I used to feel stronger.
I used to feel smarter.
I used to feel better.
Why does this fade when we get older? When I think of my younger self, I admire how much fire I had within. So much hope. So much strength.
But as I got older, I gave more of myself to everyone else. Became everyone's cheerleader. Gave everyone else a boost. Adapting to others' needs while losing my dreams, my strength, my sense of self in the process.
I began going to therapy again a few weeks ago and am so happy I did. It is NOT easy. In fact, last week was super super hard. But missing myself is even harder. Young Amy was so full of promise and I'm sad I let her down. I still can't even point out where I lost her, but I'm working on getting her back. She inspires me because I know she's still in here somewhere.
Being hella vulnerable online is fucking hard, but writing is the easiest way for me to talk to people about this. Mental health and self-care are so damn important and I need EVERYONE to know this. Ask for help. Find your happy. Do the work because you are fucking worth it.
I draw, make, and occasionally tell a story.